He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
