she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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