dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So vagazzling was a success
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
