I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
