My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Sext me about skeletons
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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