No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
