Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
