Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
