Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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