if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
