Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he fucked my hip out of place.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
