i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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