How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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