I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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