It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
