I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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