Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
