physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
