Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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