Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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