I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
