The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
