He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
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