The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize