I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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