My hair reeks of homosexuality.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize