My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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