I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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