pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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