I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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