Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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