I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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