Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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