Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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