You work out of a Hotel?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
