Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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