I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
