he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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