The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
