why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
