Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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