he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
