Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I would ride that face into the sunset
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
