I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
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Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
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I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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