somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
if only i could text you this smell
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
