I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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