You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Pooping to opera.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
