Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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