don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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