In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
