When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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