...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
