Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
