I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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