I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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