New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
