No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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