they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize