If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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