Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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