is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
