Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
